Different Ways to Say Im Sorry

We’ve all done it – screwed up at some point in our lives. And if we are a big enough person we can apologize for it. No, its not always easy to apologize and yes sometimes it is downright painful to suck up that ego and swallow that pride. But it can be necessary in order to salvage a relationship. And guess what? The bigger your screw up the bigger your apology should be. Here are 10 ways to say you’re sorry – starting with an itty bitty two word sentiment for number 10 and ending with the grandest gesture of them all for number 1.

10 – Send an apology box of chocolates to your diabetic brother or “sorry-flowers” to your girlfriend who is violently allergic. Yes, the thought was there but you also tried to kill the person – so you get the bottom of the apology-chain for this one. And hey, don’t expect the person to forgive you, ok?

9 – Call and say “Hey, dude – I’m like really sorry and stuff”. Hopefully you are a frat boy and your victim is too, or this apology might not go over so well. Try this one on Grandma for stepping on her new sewing basket and she might hit you over the head with said basket.

8 – Write I’m sorry on a piece of notebook paper, fold it in half, tape it shut and slap a 44 cent stamp on it. Then drop the paper in the mail. Don't explain why you're sorry and don't explain your behavior - I'm sure this one will go over reeeal well.

7 – Show up to apologize face to face and offer a sincere apology. Explain how you screwed up and why it will never happen again. “Barb, I’m really sorry I slept with your boyfriend. It was a huge mistake – well not HUGE – but a mistake nonetheless. I know it hurt you and for that I am immensely sorry. I will never do anything like this again.” THEN be sure to change the conversation to you and your heartbreak because the guy didn’t bother to call you the next day.

6 – Make a card that expresses your true feelings for the victim and slide an apology into the text somewhere. For example, “You are the highlight of my life – my best friend who has been there for me since we met. I couldn’t imagine doing anything fun without you. You mean the world to me and I am so sorry for crashing your car.

5 – Make a card that expresses your true feelings for the victim as with number 6 but also include a “mix tape” of all the top songs of your victim’s favorite musical genre. Of course you cannot really put this on tape – rather you will have to burn it to a disc. Then create a label for the disc using pictures you know your victim will appreciate.

4 – Offer the victim to do his or her least favorite chore once a week for the next year. For example, “hey Dan – I’m totally sorry I traded your bike for a cheeseburger. I will clean your toilet every Tuesday for the next year to show how sorry I really am.” Hopefully your brother Dan won’t take advantage of this offer by being the biggest slob this side of the equator for the next year. Either way, good luck. Ick.

3 – Dedicate an entire web page or Hub to your victim. Explain to the world why you suck and what you did that was so wrong. Also explain why you are sorry and what you plan to do in the future to keep from repeating the mistake. For an example please see My Mom is My Best Friend.

2 – Buy, or better yet BE, a singing telegram. If you cannot afford a singing telegram you can dress up in a horrendous outfit and show up at your victim’s door. As soon as he or she answers your knock you can start belting out an awful rendition of “I’m sorry”. Please see video to right if you need help. Your humiliation alone should be enough to get your forgiven for just about anything.

1 – Here is the biggie and you better be willing to put in a lot of expense for this one. Choose a travel destination you know your victim will love. Then purchase 2 tickets to that destination and choose a gift basket to fill with themed items. For example, you purchase two tickets to Hawaii and place them in a gift basket filled with a pineapple, two leis, a Hawaiian skirt, and some sun block. Stick in a “Im so sorry card” and send the basket to your victim. One of two things will happen – your victim will weep with joy and invite you on the trip with him or her OR your victim will laugh out of spite and invite a new, better friend on the trip. Either way you will know where you stand. Apology accepted or denied.